Life Lessons from my Grandmother

My grandma passed away June of 1998. 'Passed away' isn't the appropriate word, it's more of a vacation because we promised that we'd see each other again and I will always believe that. There were life lessons that she taught in that special way that only she can. For instance, she would say something like 'What would you need the fresh grass for when the horse is gone?'. That would seem weird to some, but she really meant that whatever good one can do NOW, just do it. How true for one never knows what the next moment will be. No one, even the President of the United States, has any real control over what will happen the next minute. My grandma would tell me to feed the horses with the grass while it's still there. Do the good you can NOW be it doing someone a favor or feeding someone who is hungry.

Another lesson she taught me is never to leave the breakfast table without reading the newspaper, and she started teaching me this when I was only about 4 years old. Of course I couldn't understand the news then, but she always was there anyway to 'make me' read and then tell me what the news meant. She was a news junkie, but more than that, she always said that those who learn to read and LOVE IT manage to have more comfortable lives because they're quick to learn new skills and to know more about most subjects, including the most important subject called LIVING. Thus, I was a Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys addict at 8 years old and I couldn't live happy -- even during my childhood -- without a trip to the bookstore at least once a week. Grandma was right, information is power and wealth indeed.

She also taught me that there is a God and that prayers can do wonders. She didn't scare me with gory vivid images of hell, like the nuns at school, but she did teach me how to have faith in God and myself. When I was sixteen, she was given only 6 months to live because of breast Cancer. After her mastectomy she dropped down to about only 90 lbs and she didn't look so well and I KNEW it. Yet, she was optimistic -- she would always say that she was feeling alright.I prayed as hard as I could and pleaded with God for 30 more years for her because I loved her(I still do, always will) and God granted my wish. She lived thirty more years after they expected to bury her. 

She wasn't like the usual sermonizing old-school oldies. She told me that having money is NOT evil and that having NO money isn't the right and practical way to live. Yet she taught me that money cannot buy anyone everything citing the case of Howard Hughes who was extremely rich and unhappy. In everything, she used to say one learn some sense of balance. She was prudent and pragmatic but totally generous of almost everything she had. She gave away expensive jewelry, cars, furnitures, clothes -- and anything she no longer needed. She hated too much stuff and she loved more space in the home. She taught us kids that things are just things and she would say 'we can buy that anyway should we need something like that again' but we cannot buy the joy we give others. She also believed that what we give out comes back to us twice either in the same form, or in terms of good health, happiness and great opportunities. 

She did not like the idea of me learning how to cook in the kitchen. Instead, she would say something like ' learn SOMETHING else and study' because when one studies and learns, it would be easier to learn how to cook later. She was right. I learned how to cook in my 20s by reading a recipe book. 

The most meaningful lesson she taught me is to learn how to love, and this she did by example. She would not tell me she loved me everyday, but she did 'special things' for me -- like making sure that I have my favorite dessert or ice-cream waiting for me at home when I would come home from work. Sometimes, during the summer, she'd open the air conditioner thirty minutes before I'd arrive to make sure that I'd be comfortable when I get to my room.  Even before she passed away, she knew that it gave me joy to see her eat (she died of Cancer at 83) so she finished her cup of mango ice cream. That's love, that's real. And I have no doubt I shall see her again.