How To Decline a Valentine Date with Diplomacy

There was a time when people wore RED during Valentine, as if it were a day that was so special that one HAD to tell the world that she/he is in love with someone. What is it with Valentine's day? It doesn't mean anything  except that you're crazy about someone and someone may be crazy over you. The world doesn't want to know that. There are bigger issues -- like how to make money online so you can fall in love, perhaps get married without financial constraints.

Okay, Valentine is a romantic day. You may have a boyfriend or an imaginary boyfriend to be your Valentine -- it doesn't matter-- an imaginary boyfriend is the same as a real one. You get less problems too and you do NOT have to have real sex with a human who can cause you to get sick with AIDS. Another plus is the fact that you can "see" your imaginary boyfriend the way you want. He could even be Brad Pitts twin brother and you are SURE that no one takes his affection away from you.

Still Valentine's Day is too mushy, and people going on dinner dates on THAT yucky day are sure to be dressed to the nines in their most fashionable LV (or whatever) design outfits. Thus, here are the following excuses to AVOID that pesky Valentine date :

1. Tell your boyfriend that your love is the "agape"kind of love. Thus, you have reserved that date to FAST for the poor children in the world who are going hungry. Give him a lecture on world poverty and break down in tears (somehow) to make him understand how deeply you feel about this issue. Then say : "That's LOVE"

2. Tell your boyfriend that every Valentine date you had in your life was a "cursed day". Invent.. be creative.. " My cat died on my first Valentine day.."; "My ex-boyfriend's toe hit the next Valentine day and it was fractured.." ; "Oh every Valentine day I get nervy, the last time i was so nervy I shot the waiter! "... you get the idea?

3. Say that Valentine is a day when St. Valentine was martyred and you aren't into celebrating anyone's terrible death!

4. Tell him that you'd rather have your own Valentine's day at a date, time and place you want because you are an objectivist and a fan of Ayn Rand. Thus, you, as a logical thinker can only go on a date that you deem rational, fit and suitable. Add that Valentine's day is anti-intellectual.

5.Go look at him after he invites you and ask : "What's Valentine's day?" Add that you think that all days are for loving and that you have been pretty OFFENDED by the fact that he has only chosen one day in a year to show you that he loves you. Add that one date doesn't make it that special unless it's in a restaurant in Paris, France.

6. Tell him that Valentine Day is one day you cannot celebrate because it was the day you were arrested for bank robbery. (or choose your own heinous crime) Add that you feel some urge to do something criminal every Valentine's Day.

7. Say YES but only if he can find a restaurant that plays heart braking Barry Manilow songs all night long.

See, there are several NICE ways to say NO to your boyfriend (imaginary or not) on Valentine's day. If all doesn't wok, tell him that you're scheduled for a sex-transplant operation on that day and you simply can't go.